numb

I thought I'm happy enough.

But everything seems dull.

Morning is tiring yet you want to stay awake.

Afternoon is eating me up.

Evening seems familiar when its not.

Night seems so right but uncomfortable.

Midnight is suffocating yet bearable and comforting.

Be it sunny, be it raining or be it cloudy.

I don't find feelings in those.

Sunny day feels restless but you had to walk anyway.

Raining day always giving this melancholy vibes yet it feel so unfamiliar.

Cloudy day just nothing, empty, wide grey sky but I find it beautiful.

So why? Why am I feeling but it feels so unrealistic?

As if reality and illusion entwine together without a visible border.

I was mesmerized yet scared...

And I stop questioning myself before I losing it.

"Can I stayed sane in this delusional reality?"